How NOT To Feel Pushy When Talking About Your Business

In a recent post, I gave you 5 of my favorite strategies for getting those first few clients FAST, especially when you’re short on marketing money.

You may have noticed something about these strategies - most of them involve “getting yourself out there” and approaching others. Now, I’m all about ATTRACTING clients, not chasing them. But the simple fact is, client attraction takes time. When you need those first few clients NOW, you’ll have to take those first steps instead of waiting for them to come to you.

So how do you “get yourself out there” without feeling pushy? Here’s how to talk about what you do without feeling uncomfortable or (ick!!) like you’re “selling something.”

1. Remember what marketing is really about. At the end of the day, marketing is all about making a match: getting something of value into the hands of those who really need it/want it/would benefit most. In this case, YOUR services are that something!

Never forget that you have something incredible to offer the world. You’re talking to people to connect, serve and make that match. The key question to keep in the back of your mind is: “Is this person someone I can help?”

2. Drop your agenda. Let’s say you’re going to a seminar or workshop that you know will be filled with people who can help you in your business - new clients, partners, and so on. So maybe you’re really nervous - after all, there’s a lot at stake, right? Or maybe you’re feeling anxious because you know you want to make those business connections but don’t want to appear “sales-y.”

Having an agenda - even the agenda to NOT be sales-y - puts pressure on yourself and clouds your mind to what’s really going on. I don’t know about you, but when I’m out of my comfort zone, my mind can come up with all kinds of crazy negative thoughts that have no basis in reality! So what’s the reality? You’re just having a conversation!

The very BEST way I know to lose your agenda and any nerves that come along with it is to shift your focus from YOU (for example, how nervous you feel) to THEM and practice sincere curiosity. Ask yourself, “How can I make this person feel at ease?” and “Hrm, is this person someone I can help?”

3. Make a connection. When meeting new people, nothing matters more than making a sincere connection. Why? When your potential clients feel that connection, you build rapport and trust - two things you MUST have if you’re to work well together down the road.

Focusing on creating connection shifts your attention from you to them, which will help you feel less anxious and help keep networking from feeling fake and phony. Best of all, authentic connection just feels so good. In our disconnected, wired, 80-hour-workweek world, true connection is in short supply… and yet it’s what people crave more than anything.

When you sincerely connect, the people you meet WILL feel it and they will be so grateful for it. You’ll stand out instantly.

4. Talk about something else first - namely, THEM! Many people hate networking because it can feel like cold calling. Here you are, with people you barely know… and you’re supposed to talk about your business! But you don’t have to open the conversation by talking about your practice. There’s no need to reveal what you do right away. Indeed, it’s much better to ask them about their favorite subject: themselves.

People love to talk about themselves and they love to feel heard. The conversation WILL come around to what you do. And when it does, not only will they think you’re the best conversationalist EVER, they’ll be more than happy to hear what you have to say.

5. Ask questions. Once again, it’s about getting the focus off you. Asking questions gets them talking about themselves. You can also find out quickly if they’re an ideal client by asking questions that gently steer the conversation towards the problems you solve or what you help them with.

6. Detach yourself entirely from the outcome. If you’re familiar with the Law Of Attraction, you may have heard of the principle of detachment - that magical state where you want something but you don’t need it. That point of wanting-but-not-needing is when the real attraction happens.

Remember: you’re simply having a conversation. Maybe you’ll be able to help them, and maybe not. Both are fine. Being completely detached from the outcome keeps you strong and centered, and the “needy vibes” at bay.

7. Leave them feeling better than how you found them. Did you know that we remember more about how we FELT when we were talking to someone than what they actually SAID? It’s true! It only makes sense to want to leave people feeling better than you found them.

Making a connection, shifting your focus to them, being sincerely interested and asking questions puts you at ease and makes them feel great about speaking with you. When people feel great about you and you have something they want or need, they can’t help but feel pulled towards working with you.